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21 December 2008 @ 11:47 pm
Lately my head has been in five million different directions. Im not the person i want to be, nor the person i was a few weeks ago. Everything i thought i could count on..is just gone. I cant wrap my head around it. Every day that passes, i feel the love leaving me. Maybe its a good thing, seeing as he has moved on already, and this was his decision. Im not sure anymore. I just wish things were like they use to be. i felt so secure. so happy. in love. Now all i am is bitter. I cant see the point in going out and looking for someone new. Why should i waste all my time getting to know someone else? when the chance of this happening all over again is pretty high? I just wish i could go back, just for a day. so i could remember what it felt like to love and be loved. I miss that feeling more than anything. But at the same time, i dont. I dont want to go through this hell all over again. Over the last two weeks my heart has broken every single day, more than once. More than anything, i miss my friend. He was a good friend to me. Better than any that ive had. My head is so fucked up. Every thought that i have, an opposite one forms. FUCK
30 August 2008 @ 01:21 am
my other half. Without him, i dont believe i could ever be the same. He makes me whole. There isnt a single word to describe the way i feel about him. Every emotion is brought on so naturally, i never have to think about doing things for him.
I have never met a single person who possess every quality that is total awesomeness, besides him.I fully believe that he will be something great one day, even though he doesnt believe so.

I believe in you, and i will never stop doing so.

When I was younger, I had this idea about what love was and what it meant. Love is compromise and understanding. Never judging or assuming. I am truly lucky that I found someone that I can be my complete self around and have them accept it.

I guess I could write pages of every thought thats going through my head, but id never be able to make sense of it through words.

i love you.
Current Mood: contentcontent
23 August 2008 @ 04:17 am
i more than adore you...


i happen

to love you.
Current Mood: curiouscurious
05 August 2008 @ 04:31 am
I want to be with you
over the under
voices in the darkness
follow us everywhere
visions are blurring
follow you anywhere
i'll lead you back from there

back up
to where you came from
back up
all i have to do is sing your name

I want to be with you
illness beneath us
not hear the stirring
voices in the darkness
not hear them cry for air
visions are blurring
follow you anywhere
i'll lead you back from there

back up
to where you came from
back up
all i thought i had to do was sing your name


And i forgot to tell you
i love you
And the night is too long
im cold here
In my condition
For, i cannot find the words to say
i need you so.. 
Current Location: bed nigga
Current Mood: contemplativecontemplative
Current Music: evanescence hince the strange poetry
31 July 2008 @ 11:56 pm
I am the type of person who never speaks their mind. if you piss me off, or hurt me, or if i love you, i will never tell you. I have a hard time admitting to myself when i have done something hurtful to someone else, i dont want to be that person. there are so many people that i need to apologize to and some people that i want to thank for being in my life.

Robert Lobianco: I am sorry for wasting a year of your time and mine. you werent right for me, or what i needed. But i was too much of a coward to say something early on because i didnt want to hurt you, and i honestly thought that things would change. you were my best friend in that time, and im sorry that i couldnt love you the way you deserved. everytime i see you now, i cannot stand to look at you or even hear you speak. you annoy the shit out of me, just being honest.

Julia Mcintyre: I have completely wasted 4 years of my life getting emotionally beaten down by you. I thought i loved you and that you were my best friend. until recently i always blamed myself for the fights that we got into. i never wanted to believe that you werent what i thought you were. you are a manipulative and self-cenetered person. I cant stand when you talk about your friends and then act like nothing ever happened. i never tell you how shitty of a person you are anymore because i honestly dont want to hear you bitch. i am so sick of revolving my life around you. I never want to speak to you ever again, and no matter how much i miss you in the future, i will not let myself have contact with you. you have completely ruined the person i was.

Ross Petersen: i loved you once, but that was when i was stupid and very high. please stop calling me and sending me messages on myspace. i have no interest in speaking to you, i actually dont even know what to say to you anymore. so just stop okay?

Kyle Patterson: i am truly grateful for having you in my life. you have become one of my best friends and the person that i can turn to without feeling judged. you are the only guy that i have ever known who actually listens when i speak. i dont ever want to lose you as a friend and if i do, it better be for a damn good reason.

Publix/Deli people: each and every one of you talk so much shit. i fucking hate all of you. i have never in my entire life met anyone who is a disrespectful as all of you. i cannot wait for the day that i dont have to see or hear any of your annoying voices ever again. Jennifer and Kristen Dolloff; you both are the definition of white trash, you put everyone else down constantly and act like everything you do is perfect. get over yourselves. maybe your lives wouldnt be so shitty if you actually learned to shut up and listen.

Robert Ries: i guess you should have expected that i would put you in here. you are one of the most crazy and funny people i know. your livejournal and youtube videos have made me laugh so much. i admire you and would like to get to know you more. hopefully all of the effort that im trying to put into getting to know you wont be a waste. HAAYYYYYYYYY DEEER
Current Mood: anxiousanxious
25 July 2008 @ 06:08 am
today was good :D

I met a boy, i dont know his name. But he is pretty fucking cool.

Maybe i will see him tomorrow????????
28 March 2007 @ 09:52 pm

To get another one of these...to start over..finally. It's been a long time coming...but well deserved I must say. I really have no clue on how to start this thing off....I feel so lost..even on subjects that concern my day-to-day life. WTF. Truthfully...I am amazed on how far I have come without her. We all know who I mean...It sucks that Im still rambling on about her...how many months later??? Like 8? 

Well fuck it.

I loved her. past tense.

Current Location: muh house
Current Mood: deviousdevious
Current Music: Crossing Jordan(sp?)